life is only a mind game, but mind is not enough~
Welcome to my blog. First thing first, I shall tell you that it’s better to ignore this post, because the newest post would be UNDER this post ^^;
Me, the geeky author is just a typical INTJ woman. Loves to read&write, shopping & hanging out, creating artworks, cooking…and doing silly stuffs when I’m freaking out :p
Anyhow if you’re interested to see my artworks too just click here:
see ya! C=C=(; ‘_’)
Sometimes, the best decision is the option you don’t like. I’ve been sitting in front of laptop these few days, since I need to correspond with some parties, regarding my study and work plan. Holding myself back from my social needs is pretty hard, but I don’t really feel like it to meet people too much when I had my head overloaded. It’s not that I don’t want to share. More like I don’t know how to say it.
Sometimes my friends do ask, and I respond to them. But the truth is, there are more things that I didn’t say rather than things that I explained. I have been wondering how my life would be lately. Many things are too uncertain, plans kept changing, and for an OCD like me it’s really a pain in the ass. So when I had the chance to rest for a few days due to post-tooth operation, I watched a movie my sister recommended. 500 days of summer. I’ve been currently looking up to someone who dares to make such a big decision and effort in such an early age, I wondered what am I doing when I was his age. Anyway, this movie reminds me of how I could be or do…if it wasn’t for his presence. It’s just that I don’t want to be that person anymore. I’m erasing the content. I’m closing the box.
Have you ever really paid attention to the minor things instead of the major, usual ones? I used to do that. I have different ways to do a lot of things, and one of them is the way I see scenes in movies. Last time I watched Sherlock Holmes 2. My first impression was of course: “Wow. Genius!” That part was no different. But what came later were ideas scattering around my brain, full of questions. Again, I’m required to read a lot to find out thoroughly. I guess no matter how much I tried to find out I never felt its good enough.
Some parts just left huge questions and I guess all I can do for now is note them here so I won’t forget to dig them up, someday when I had the source, so I can do something more satisfying with these information. My personal opinion so far is, this movie secretly describes the sentiments and political pull strings within powerful countries around the World War. Perhaps the brilliant mind-setting scenes were brain boogling, but some sentences and scenes caught my mind.
I hereby note these:
Had anyone ever put any consent thoughts toward theorizing any theory? For so many books or journals I have read, I often found the similar case. It feels like a repeating history, a deja vu. But the term that describes is best is the term used by Prof. Budi Hardiman: bankrupt theory. It means a theory which is not valid anymore because the output cannot be verified once it’s implemented. But I’m interested in Voloshinov and Vygotsky’s term ‘organic theory’. This term is used quite often in textbooks, to explain which theory is in used, though we also study ‘old theory’ that derived the new ones by it’s flaws.
Starting from the moment I read off Freud and Jung’s confronting arguments, I start thinking that a lot of expertise started their long lasting debate which ended unsolved because of one reason: they never start their arguments from the same contextual ground level. I think I’ve already wrote about the debate of Jung and Freud around 2-3 years ago during my college study HERE. So to sum these up, I believe that phenomenon doesn’t necessarily just change, it has it’s own cycle. History repeats, and so does the phenomenon that substracts a theory. That’s why I said I believe in repeating history. Somehow, nothing will be exactly the same.
Normally one theory is built due to certain phenomenon, thus no theory are normally implementable toward all circumstances. Which is why organic theory, or my preferred term, recycled theory, is more acceptable. As history repeats, so does the theory function. Even so, the context should adapt and compile.
I’ve been thinking of some random things lately. I already wrote about sexual repressions in the 80s before, but the fact that the word ‘fuck’ actually derived from “Fornication Under Consent of King” made me realize that perhaps Foucoult was right. Sex is indeed something repressed from the very beginning. The other thing I was thinking is how I oftenly heard “I was inspired by this book, that song, etc.” So was it every wordcraftery overflowing around was just only old texts, reproduced along with new ideas (which is probably a reproduced text product itself), distributed and got reproduced again over and over again? Perhaps that was somewhat true. Oh well, maybe I’d better keep this for next time.
What I want to talk about is not that much distinct, though. It is about an idea that pops in my head after I read a book chapter about Charlie Chaplin. It explains on how things, not just the relations of movie stars as potential political stakeholder, but also, how the world, as it evolves, liquify borders between things. This appears on how Charlie Chaplin forget his main principal thing that arose his popularity: political truths wrapped in black comedy. Thus it’s what the world proclaim that the moment Charlie start opening his mouth became the turning point of his glory. He became outspoken about politics, and his movie was being more as the bitter truth rather than satirical jokes out of it. What people see is how he tried to be himself in his movies and speeches by being outloud, but on the contrary, the thing that made him so well known is when he became The Tramp. Again, packaging plays an essential role.
But what I see is, it means that the reproduced text is perhaps the most political thing. Charlie Chaplin is the agent who eventually came with the right package that turns out to be ‘hit’. Unfortunately, the agent and the text clicks.
As time goes by, when the demand doesn’t meet, the popularity inclines. The text, in this case Chaplin’s movie, is the thing that sells, and being controversial for its content. Even FBI made a fuss about it, especially when Chaplin had the meeting and relationship with some people from the Left, despite of him just being fond of some points of socialist. The movie itself is the mixture of Charlie’s personal views, the reality, wrapped and shaped with somewhat commercial: American style black comedy – the one said as ‘creativity’ or ‘art’ (I must note this as Charlie wasn’t an American as far as I know, and refused being an American citizen. I’ll revise if I’m wrong).
Even the texts are more or less the same, again, the packaging is different. It’s not the irony that I underline. Somehow the inclination of Chaplin’s popularity could also prove that people only see what they want to see. It highlights on how mortals had a black spot in their mindsets. When the border is getting hazy, Charlie swifts from a comedian who highlights minor political-social facts wrapped to be profiting on screen into a political orator who in turn – take sides and give funds.
On the other hand, the audience, when the boxing process happens in mind, trigerred by circumstances, expectations and other factors, the black spot widens. That answers why even the essence of the text didn’t have a substantial change, the feedback is totally different. Its probably the matter of packaging. This also explains why people chose to murder Galileo Galilei when he said the world is round, instead of trying to find evidence. Against the dogma, they said. This inferred that on some point, humans mental state choose to think what they want to think.
Perhaps next time when I’m more qualified I’ll write more about this. That’s it for now.
Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.
This is probably one of my rare mood to talk about my personal life. I am currently (almost) a student in TU Ilmenau, Germany. Yes, almost. I was admitted to the winter semester, only for some reasons I decide to go on spring. One of the main reason I want to study there is because my talk with Prof. Martin Löffelholz. He reminds me a lot to my previous Professor in Taipei, Prof. Chih Cheng Lo. So to fill my time, I am earning cash from making and selling handbags. Just this one past week I am off the mood for any craft work. Instead, I am currently getting frenzy around the pantry.
Today is my sister’s birthday, and when I asked her what does she want, she only asked me to prepare a full menu for her : chicken garlic (somewhat like chicken cordon bleu, only it’s stuffed with cream of garlic and cheese), strawberry ice cream and green tea cake. So yeah, since yesterday I’m occupied in the kitchen. My friends likes my dishes and they’d say I better open a cafe or bakery, but I think I’m too much a rookie. This gives me the pulse, since usually my hands are usually only working on my laptop’s keyboard or craft materials. As for desserts, I really had to blame David Lebovit’s The Perfect Scoop, it drives me insaneee. I downloaded the e-book version for free, so now I could make different desserts every weekend for a whole year! And I started modifying the recipees as well.
Now toward my future plans. This time I’d like to share a little secret. Actually I’ve quite constantly been asked by some people working in my almameter, if I would apply as a lecturer there. Especially now, when they’re preparing to open an international class in a year or two. Honestly, I don’t really feel like it. I have personal reasons to flee from my hometown. Plus, working there means having my dad as my boss. Well, my vicious tongue could cause trouble for him, I suppose. I’m a person who doesn’t care with whom I’m talking to, when someone’s wrong, then they’re wrong. The thing is, will my dad’s subordinate tolerate that? I don’t think so.
Oh well, that’s a little bit of my life. Talk to you again next time. Maybe I’m gonna talk about the book I’m currently reading for the upcoming post. See ya!
Delusions and all it mights. What is actually the definition of delusions? Isn’t by labeling delusions easily to some stories regarded ridiculous, we are actually limiting our own mindset? What if we are the one who’s limiting ourself toward a further understanding of how the mindset works? Basicly I believe that all mindset are in some way twisted with their own typicalities.
Delusions are oftenly refered to manic bipolars and its symptoms. It also could work otherwise, as depression toward something. For instance, someone feel depressed because he believed that he was the one responsible for the death of many British people during the Gulf War (read Measuring Psycholathology by Anne Farmer). But somehow there lies the typicalities: pride of holding certain gift, talents, abilties, name it. Basicly it was only two distinguished branches that emerges from the very same root.
So isn’t the idea is somewhat categorizing by categorizing itself? Thus the limit of mindset is shrinked. Or perhaps I just need to do further reading before I reach any single premis or inference.
What do you have in mind while you were filling a questionnaire, working on your test, filling a form? You might be filling in the blank. But have you ever questioned the term ‘filling the blank’? Well, at the moment, I do. Have you ever think is there any actual ‘fill in the blank’? Or, the real freedom to fill what you want above the dots?
We normally fill the conceptual ‘blank’ but not the literal ‘blank’. As in mindset we usually had it in mind a lot, but in some sense it’s not merely blank, it had the dots and the alphabets that you read ‘fill in the blank’. Next, we had the trigger or tendency, boxes, on what we want it to be filled. Like, when we asked something to someone, actually we are asking them to fill in the blank. But often, we had those criterias, tendencies, boxes, on what we want it to be filled. In the end, is there any real pure ‘fill in the blank’? Plato would just lightly say, it only exists in the world of ideas, perhaps.
It also probably shows that everything is political. Even filling the blanks in a form has it own norms and unwritten regulations. ‘Filling the blank’ is never that free, filling it and the prejudice/consequence afterwards are two different things, no? The tentacles of system that restrain what’s filled in the blank are political. It is hegemonicly arranged. So, mindsets are indeed arranged. And all the times we think that what meets the eye is just the social effect. But then, I believe it’s not.
Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.
Today I went out with my best friend, and while sitting in her car I heard the song I used to know as an official soundtrack of my favorite movie: Hallelujah by Rufus Weinwright. She told me that the lyrics are unusually sensual since it used the word “Hallelujah” as a major plot.
As this is a soundtrack of a Disney cartoon, I wonder why this song was picked as one of the soundtrack? And it was played nearly the turning point, or you can say, a part of the McGuffin sequence. As far as I remember they didn’t changed the lyrics either. This kind of eroticism tickles my brain, as I recall what I found with Tinkerbell – related to Marilyn Monroe.
See, these are some of the lyrics:
Your faith was strong but you needed proof,
you saw her bathing on the roof,
her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to a kitchen chair,
she broke your throne, she cut your hair,
and from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
Oh yes, I’m curious with a lot of things. But I’m still having my ADD, so perhaps finishing the book I’m currently reading about Hitchcock and Lacan would be nice. I miss writing serious matters. I mean, I really want to write a little finding in a proper journal.
There are some things that keeps intriguing my mind. Why does someone write? Most people would dearly answer: ” To express my mind”, or ” To shout out to the world” (to me both basicly sounds the same). Or perhaps ” Because words are catalyst puzzle”. Whatever you may say, to me most people are not that humble to say so. Humble in the sense of, the one who’s answering at that moment was their conscious. But what about their unconscious? Just say, this is merely because I think the only part from human which is humble is the unconscious. But then, the unconscious itself could be manipulated.
One reason why I start quitting on twitter was that I think (say it, I judge. Yes I do) some people are just ego maniacs who used their twitter as a display to show off. Sorry to say, but bluntly, that’s how I feel. And yes, you have the right to mirror back those words to me.
I found a few blogs that annoys me, for example. These people are those type who said that they wrote for the sake of molding out their ideas out of their head. But what do you think, when you read in the “About Me” section, they were , saying that ” I’m not going to write in the ‘about me’ section, you can guess about my age, school, what I’m like blahblahblah from my writing…so good luck.” or ” I won’t say I’m smart, but you can judge me from my writing…” That is TOTALLY SICK. First, doh…you DID just wrote the what so called “about me” section. Second, well if you’re trying to make someone else curious of you…do a proper writing with intriguing ideas, then someone will eventually be. Luring out such bait is somewhat idiot.
But then, if you tell this matter regarding the author, will they listen? Will they even realize that they are unconsciously doing this? My brain was catalyzed to read the journal “Measuring Psychopathology”. I need more reference about this. So for now, let’s redefine the word “humble”, shall we?
Here I am mumbling again. Recently I got kinda lots of things to do, and I’m currently not really good at managing time. But I’m trying to, since I’m having a few deadlines upcoming. I got a Deutschkurs, a few pending application, pending project and craft orders (this time, bundles of them). But yeah, I believe I can as long as I believe I could. Well, that’s how it works, right?
So apparently I will (NEVER) pay attention to any douchebags since it’s wasting time. To be honest I’m actually really sick about it right now. Those guys who think they deserve any girl’s attention because they’re good looking, rich, literate, whatever those blah blah blah is…I won’t pay attention because of those label of yours. If you think you’re cool, just because you’re walking with those labels on your forehead, go to hell. Even if you had all those, if you don’t have the attitude…man, you’re actually still nothing.
Alright, enough with being cranky. I’ll see you next time (hopefully) with a better mood and better things to talk about.
Hello everyone! I share my thoughts here. Sometimes it may sounds a little weird or too radical, I know. But then it is just a spark of thoughts I would love to share :) And yeah, as you know "knowledge is a power, but ignorance is a bliss" [Plato]
read more..
Recent Comments