the bloody uncommon – among the common(sense)

And yeah I had another chat about relationship. Like I am so worried about it whole my life, I never care that much before. It was so like, when I’m bored with things, with the person I’m with, it’s was an inch to whisper goodbye. Never really mind to skip from person to person, seeking the feeling people were chattering about every second in the universe, but it’s so hard to find. After all I am an INTJ, I don’t tend to think about feelings that much, my myers briggs personality test said I use feelings only around 33% and that’s very uncommon-people would say, especially for a (cute looking) girl – I hate it when they say so.


They always expect me to be cute-ish, calm, soft-sound-and words, gentle, etc. Sickly that’s not me at all. Calm, perhaps. but soft sound? Gentle? Even my dog will laugh.

Right, back there to what’s so bloody uncommon. I had another chat with my best friend, he is confused about usual things people used to whine about relationships:

Oh..he/she is not paying attention to me because..(and do note that the context is Indonesian culture)

“he is not taking me to campus everyday…”

“she never baked me any lunch..”

“he/she forgot my birthday…”

Well I’m not saying that those are absolutely wrong. What I mean is, people oftenly said small undone things they expect from their spouse. Some things are like written in the big guide book, and when one or two step is skipped means the ‘relationship tutorial’ failed. And that is stupid and selfish.Why?

First, if you want someone to drive you everywhere, hire a driver, or you can go by bus or taxi. They can do it pretty better. Second, if you want someone to deliver your lunch you can just simply call chuckie cheese or McD. And it’s hard for not whining if the one you love forgot your birthday, but remember even a facebook or phone reminder can do that for you (and it could even remind everyone).

I suddenly just realized that perhaps because we’re all to busy moaning, we forgot how precious is a person who could understand us, supports us all the time, listen to whatever we said, and most of all, give us useful advices. In the whole world maybe there’s only one person who could do that. And you should treasure that. I believe each person have their own way to express their feeling.

I could say this, perhaps because I read Shinobu Inokuma’s Salad Day. It opens my eyes about hell a lot of things. There is one story, telling about a girl who’s crying because her boyfriend never say : I love you. One day she asked him why, and he said: do you need an answer? She got upset and ran. She sit in a bench in a public park and some guys are planning to rape her. Unfortunately her boyfriend track her and heard the evil plan. He beat them up until he couldn’t stand anymore and faints in front of her with a bloody face.

And from then, she realize how much he loves her and never whines anymore, whatever her friends said. If you’re really in love with someone, you should trust him/her. That’s the most important thing a couple should have, especially if you’re in a long distance relationship like me. Right, I’ve got nothing more to say. Let’s go and do something.

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3 thoughts on “the bloody uncommon – among the common(sense)

  1. citraningrum says:

    this is quite true, and silly me for occasionally doing it (considering I live in academic and reasonable community with a bunch common sense). people find me rude (they say i’m too honest –> i know that means rude hahaha) and not really care of others’ feeling (right that is :D), but in some moments i feel thunderstruck and fall for feelings, making me hate myself >.<
    teach me to be more ignorant? πŸ˜›

    • Judith Chen says:

      haa after all these years knowing you I just realized we had quite a lot of similarities. I am also considered as rude, criticizing and considering about feelings.

      perhaps, maybe because we never pay attention to some what so called feelings that much, once it stucks us, it becomes too “harsh”. and yeah, sometimes I do hate myself too for that :p I guess everyone had the tendency to be stuck in “commonsense”.

      what I used to do is distracting myself to teach myself for being more ignorant. reading books, making crafts, watching movies, anything. but anyway, guess it would be nicer if we try it together πŸ™‚ and I love experimenting myself :p

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