Lost

Have you ever felt so lost that you don’t even know what you should do while the path of your crazy dreams start to open right under your feet? Why I suddenly felt I don’t know what should I write in this dedication page inside my thesis while actually I have loads of names to write down? Even, one bolded name for sure. Why I suddenly wish I don’t have to leave him in this country while before I was dying to go? I just realize that every single success would be nothing without him. I don’t know if he even understand this. I don’t even know if he would just knew whatever I said my feelings for him never changed at all? No, maybe it was never the same at all, because I never could stop it from growing big. Growing tall and big, but somehow I don’t know what should I do with it. Why should things be that much difficult while actually it could be much easier since we already understand each’s situations? Still, I’m just a dork in this. I wish I could do for you much better like what I can do in college. I wish I can express this to you as much as what I am able to do in front of my Professor, in each of my class. I wish I could. I’m sorry.

I remember Martin Luther King Jr. said : “our lives start to end,the day we become silent about the things that matter.” what if I dunno what really matters now? You know, maybe I’m actually dead right now.

PS. I’m final-editing my thesis before it’s going to be booked. Will post either the abstract or full version later. And also will write new article, as promised. As soon as I have sufficient time. I need to do something with my messed up self.

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