start from here…

Have you ever feel something, but you don’t know how to describe it? I think, even just a few times, everybody does. And that’s what I’m feeling right now: undescribed. Unfortunately, I found something that could represent them better than words:

(keep calm and breathe)

all photo credits: photobucket

In some ways I am too perfectionist, I need everything to get in order…and when it’s messed up I’ll freak out. As the time passed by, I learn not to be too much stiff. During my early childhood I moved to several town, including several countries, that’s why I’m forced to learn English, reading, and writing quite early. I get used to read books, any kind of books: comic, story books, encyclopedia, and being thought not to do things that might distract my study such as playing PC game.  As I am living in an apartment with other immigrants and locals, I was also taught to be well mannered. Maybe those were some reasons why I used to be that much stiff, besides, basicly I am an INTJ anyway, know what I mean?

I never get too much closed to anyone, even my parents or sisters. Not until high school, but still, changes comes very slowly. Although seems like loads of girls hated me during high school (and it’s pretty horrible since it’s a boarding school, means you’ll be seeing them everyday) but what I see now is, without those experience I will never be who I am right now. I think I start to be a person I thought I could never be. I start to know how to care  for others, either in friendship or relationship, and most of all, hand the will of understanding and being understood. I am not that much lonely and stiff person anymore. But the best part is, I still can speak out my mind loudly. Now that I had loads of fellas who stays by my side I feel much better, and so much loved.

During college, I start to join english debate club again. I got obsessed with writing article and journal, I start to be more sharp-tongue and even some of my closed friends said I still look kinda creepy because I am uncommonly expressionless. and I always look so serious. But in the other hand my outlook sometimes reflects otherwise, thus many people misunderstood me. Just to let you know INTJ’s are probably the most misunderstood person ever, they got those unusual mindset that somehow makes them more brilliant but troubles their relations in society. INTJs are less then 1% population in the whole world, and only 1/3 of the whole INTJ are women. See the problem now? Sometimes I still feel very lonely, there are times when everyone was so busy and I had no one to understand but myself. But those times are gone 🙂

I’m opening a new page of my life. wish me luck.


11 thoughts on “start from here…

  1. Judith Chen says:

    hmm but for me writing in english is more convenient. some words are too complicated to explain in bahasa indonesia 😉

  2. Judith Chen says:

    hahaha pernah nyoba debate pake bahasa indonesia? ribetnyooo minta ampun ga sanggup deh haha. sejak saat itu jadi sadar kl bahasa indo berbelit2 – like the commn culture

    lagian..saya cm separo indonesia kan.. :p

  3. Judith Chen says:

    hahaa not bule, my dad is Indonesian but my mum is Chinese. Chen is unofficial name of mine, since I have no family name I pick my mom’s original family name, Chen.

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