Further Note of Sexual Repression Analysis

Around three years ago I wrote about homosexual double repression hypothesis HERE. After I read what I wrote before, I had the intention to write the further hypothesis, hence I actually had the aim to elaborate the writing into one big picture. So this is just another further note of what I wrote before. I read several books and journals, it helped me a lot to capture the bigger frame of what is actually going on. In my previous work I wrote about homosexuality paradox in the modern era.
This post is functioned as a self note. I’m actually a little confused in what language I should write it down, since I wrote my previous work in Bahasa Indonesia (since it was due to personal class project submission – which has been commented by my lecturer as “too philosophical”) but it won’t stop me to write what I want anyway. To me philosophy is the basic thought to everything. Actually I suddenly had the idea of saving each of my writing under the same theme (yes, this one) to be gathered into one book. Very slow work I must say, since I just got the idea popped in mind, but well, better late then never.

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more (silly) philosopher joke *loading*

The more I know you the more I know that I don’t know you | #ScrewedSocrates

I love you | you don’t even exist in my mind | make me exist then | eventually, becoming exist doesn’t exist at all | #ParmenidesOD

Wrote these two around Valjinxtine. Yes right, I don’t say Valentine. Oh I just said it. But no, I typed it.  Eeer…in essence, it’s actually the same. Oh crap *inner blasphemy*

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short note: life is a quest

This has been my deja vu for years. But it came to me again recently these few days.

Life is a duty. Some people mind the destination, others just want to enjoy the journey. To me, you need to do both. I believe some part of my destiny is meant for other entity. So I need to do both: mind the destination but enjoy the journey. No, not just enjoying the journey. I need to open my sense widely.

Some mortals (or maybe Elohim) forgot or didn’t even notice that there are no such solo riders. Well I think I could but no, not yet. I still enjoy this bumpy ride with a silly drunken driver. and me? Just a navigator. But I’ll sure jump off I got bored.

I’ve been lost too, remember? So it doesn’t matter even if I got a little lost again, I know what to do next. Ya all ya all, enjoy your quest!

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tangled order

now you might be wondering why I’m always based on similar theories: chaos, Descartes, Foucault, Jung etc? Well you can say I’m shallow, but I use basis as basis and develop ideas so I won’t use those which didn’t really fit in me – although perhaps it will make me look smart. But sorry, I don’t need that. I don’t like doing syncretism of theories either. I’m kinda in the struggle of being a Vygotskian bastard here :p don’t worry I’m reading new stuffs too, I don’t wanna be stagnant here.

I was wondering, why do people like being in order? Personal security, I suppose. Anything else? They semioticly translate a word in its literal meaning. Human minsdet is generally built to sort things like:

order – contextually positive → white box

Chaos – contextually negative tendency → black box

I do believe some people had the ‘grey box’ but the overall tendency is the same: once one is in a box it will be hard to get them out or move it to another box. The system isn’t built to mobilize one item to another box. Now shall you say ‘order’ is white, black or grey? Is it good or bad, then? I would say neither. N people (myers briggs based) like me do had the kinda absurd boxes – maybe the uncolored ones – thus it makes us hard to explain our ideas sometimes.

My imagination would fly to a sci-fi postmodern movie when the system is a giant sticky spider web. Trying to get one out of it will only jump you from one thread to another, thus making chaos to the whole system. The whole thing is sticky and tangled. Then some sectors will be chasing you down and it’s creepy since in one click everyone will know that you’re a ‘criminal mastermind’. So where would u put the word ‘order’ now? Nah, so much for my blab. See u next time ;P

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