Suddenly March

I must admit time goes by too fast. Suddenly its march 2011 already, its nearly my birthday again. I still don’t know what to do, for me my time had stopped 3 years ago: 29/05/2008. I sense its nearly the moment for my time clock to start ticking. I just don’t know when. Just take this as a little confession.

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short note: life is a quest

This has been my deja vu for years. But it came to me again recently these few days.

Life is a duty. Some people mind the destination, others just want to enjoy the journey. To me, you need to do both. I believe some part of my destiny is meant for other entity. So I need to do both: mind the destination but enjoy the journey. No, not just enjoying the journey. I need to open my sense widely.

Some mortals (or maybe Elohim) forgot or didn’t even notice that there are no such solo riders. Well I think I could but no, not yet. I still enjoy this bumpy ride with a silly drunken driver. and me? Just a navigator. But I’ll sure jump off I got bored.

I’ve been lost too, remember? So it doesn’t matter even if I got a little lost again, I know what to do next. Ya all ya all, enjoy your quest!

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maybe you should call me ‘Frank’

Maybe you’re wondering..why Frank? it’s a men’s name, isn’t it? Indeed. But that’s not it. The reason is simple. I think I’m really frank, I said everything straight to the point and I oftenly don’t care to whom I’m talking to, to me everyone is the same. A mistake is a mistake and a critic is a critic, no exceptions. Now you get why a lot of my teachers hated me :p

Another proof that life is only a mind game. I broke up with the guy I dated for 6 years, and I didn’t cried when we broke up. I believe my mind, my intuition no matter how hard it is but I stand tall. Somehow it’s funny that I feel much better right now, I mean not the heal, but if you compare my condition when I’m still with him and my current condition, well I love it this way.

I had no relationships to maintain, I had no obligation to come back to Indonesia if I happen to study abroad for masters, no rush of marriage…and I could still be close to my bestfriends especially men. I love making friends with men: no jealousy if you had a better relationship, looking better, cook better, achieve better in academics etc. I don’t like unhealthy rivality in friendship.

 


I had my own elixir right now. I don’t care about how should I plan with this person, in fact I don’t plan to plan anything at all. I believe in each other and that’s the only thing that matters. He teaches me how to be mature, and how to open positive possibilities in life. And that’s all I need.


 

If you might wonder, how I believe that much in someone, and in future…well it’s like holding the world you want in your hand. See the picture above? You had the world you want in a small glass.

no resolution

Ah…maybe it’s a little late to talk about new years resolution. I may sound pessimistic but what I’m gonna do is making no resolution.
I do believe in some ways when we select a target, then it will be a final destination. What happens afterwards is our mindset is set to some sort of roads, turns and exit. Limitations, invisible borders, that’s what I mean. So what I’m gonna do is setting everything free, no limitations, no exceeded expectations, no target, none whatsoever. Just doing my best in everything I can.
Last year my life was screwed up with my thesis, my (ex) boyfriend, work, master program seeking etc. And how did I manage to get out of the whole crappy mess? Ask those who saved me. Say hello to my brand new life 🙂

start from here…

Have you ever feel something, but you don’t know how to describe it? I think, even just a few times, everybody does. And that’s what I’m feeling right now: undescribed. Unfortunately, I found something that could represent them better than words:

(keep calm and breathe)

all photo credits: photobucket

In some ways I am too perfectionist, I need everything to get in order…and when it’s messed up I’ll freak out. As the time passed by, I learn not to be too much stiff. During my early childhood I moved to several town, including several countries, that’s why I’m forced to learn English, reading, and writing quite early. I get used to read books, any kind of books: comic, story books, encyclopedia, and being thought not to do things that might distract my study such as playing PC game.  As I am living in an apartment with other immigrants and locals, I was also taught to be well mannered. Maybe those were some reasons why I used to be that much stiff, besides, basicly I am an INTJ anyway, know what I mean?

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fix yourself before you fix your problems

I don’t know why but lately I do prefer to write a lot about life rather than posting about artworks in my other blog. Maybe I’m just so in to life lately. I’ve got a lot of inspiration from other cynical people like my highschool fellas, but also the un-cynical ones like my darling dion. You know, let me share you a little story, about what we need and what we want.

As you know, I’m a person with a cynical thoughts, sharp tongue (if some of you have ever felt offended, then I apologize for that), even perhaps, it’s not much reflected in my look.

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Life is a show: tiny philosopicly synical note

Life is a show. A very simple and famous quotations. Not sure who wrote them for the very first time. Anyway I’m just going to write down what’s randomly popped out in my mind. A simple quotation, does that mean it has a shallow meaning? Frankly no. Does that means it has the same significance as it’s simplicity? Big no. Does that also mean, people could simply understand these four words? HELL NO.
Anyway, shortly I’m not going to turn this into an epic movie. And not a drama either. I’m not a type of entertainer, trust me. Some old philosophy script, or usually even the modern one – based on old philosophers took such heavy context and very less people had the capacity to load it safely into their minds. Not sure if I can do better but let’s give a try.

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